Jan. 29th 2023
Feeling: Relaxed
Today is January 29th, 2023 (Sunday)! To be honest, I’ve been kind of slacking this morning. I got out of bed around 9:30 and my stomach was killing me but I took care of that and now it’s business as usual. It’s now 11:28 am, and so far all I’ve done is sit down at my desktop and started drafting a beat in FL Studio. Canaan and his girlfriend came over and I felt weird about them hearing me do anything so I stopped and began writing this blog in my bed. Not 100% sure what I’m doing for the rest of my day but I’ll probably take a cold shower after this post and complete a homework assignment from my Intro To Operations Management class. I’ll continue working on my story-writing skills and will maybe start a new blog section of stories I write to give you guys a peek at how I’m developing. Speaking of the blog, I was also debating having a set schedule for when I have these blogs done. I fear my schedule is very inconsistent with classes and all so the only possible way to combat that is to wake up at 6:30 or so to write it and post it before 8 am every morning which would be slightly unreasonable.
Overall, I think the experience with the whiteboard hasn’t affected my life much at all. The problem may lie in the fact that it is currently on my floor, propped up against a chair in the corner of the wall. I’m renting my current house so I’m trying to avoid putting screws in the wall and I despise command strips. I’ll need to find a visible spot for it so it’s subconsciously engrained into my head.
Recently, I have been finding myself playing on my switch, specifically Pokemon when I have free time. This is strictly prohibited in my dopamine detox. However, I find myself getting more and more anxious as I play it. I have this looming feeling of doom as hours go past unproductive and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, I think it’s kind of incredible. A game, which should give me the ultimate satisfaction and be a cheap source of dopamine, gives me the opposite reaction of comfort and relaxation. I don’t know what I did to elicit this reaction but I’m glad. I find myself staring at more and more things while thinking “That would be a waste of my time, how is this contributing to my success in any way?”. I’ve lost motivation to do things that are “for fun” which allows me to really focus on my personal work. It’s a curse and a blessing honestly.
This is a short blog, I know, but I’m a little crunched for time today. I wasn’t able to work at all last night since I went out to dinner with my parents before going to that bar which was honestly pretty cool. Decent vibes even though dive bars aren’t really my thing.
Thank you all for your time, I hope you have a great rest of your day!
